Why "by faith alone" irritates me

I think for the most part it is just how we all define faith that leads to so many divisions among christians.

Catholics say faith and good works. To us faith is believing that yes in fact Jesus is God and did some awesome stuff for us, blah, blah, blah. But this definition of faith has no action, just personal beliefs. The good works come from living out the faith we have. What point is there in believing in an amazing love that God has for us and then only work for our own good? If someone believes in something it should be apparent in the person's life, shouldn't it? That would be good works, the tougher level of faith. It's easy to say a horse will win but much harder to believe it enough to gamble on it. That's what good works can be. When someone believes enough in God to bet on Him and His ways.

My ignorance will now have to show itself because I'm not sure what all the schisms and different beliefs of the protestants are. From what I can gather though, their beliefs aren't that different. Faith is a broader definition to them incorporating the good works I was alluding to in the paragraph above. They also speak much of grace. I don't quite understand this though to be honest. I always thought of grace as a gauge or the symptom of how close we are to God. If we are pursuing God and doing what we believe is His will, we will be gifted with grace. This is mainly an internal thing I'd imagine but I don't know. Also, a lack of grace would come from sin, thus Mary was "full of grace" since she was a devoted handmaiden of God. So I think the protestant version of faith is quite compatible with the catholic form except that they incorporate good works into their working definition.

But I'm sure they would disagree. For some reason, protestants (at least the one's I know) quiver with religious fury if I mention good works and rant on how we can't earn our way into heaven. Which is an interesting way to look at the belief. It's a twisted form of the action but I can see their point. But there is a difference in doing stuff for your parents from love and gratitude and doing stuff for them so they will be indebted to you. Protestants claim the catholic belief is the latter but that is silly. A god that created everything and everyone, the stars to the atom, will not be able to be indebted to us. We can't do anything that could possibly make Him "owe" us. It's just not possible. We are doing works in a world He created, for someone He created, and He is above all of this. He can not be hurt by us no more than we can be hurt by plankton. So with no real power comparatively, how will I ever owe plankton? So obviously the idea is silly to have that we will "earn" our way into heaven when we all deserve hell. That is the place we have all earned. So with something this simple to see, why do protestants think the catholic church, the mother of their own churches, the church that was able to lead men to Christ for thousands of years (okay...only two), the most stable body of Christ, could be so foolish as to think they can make God owe them? Do they think we are that blind or dim-witted? I hope not...

Investigative Journalism

I need to examine my life and see where the sin is popping up. Where its origin is from because it certainly is coming from somewhere quite strong. Is it my pride? What of my lust? No, my lust is probably a symptom of my desire for control and security in another aspect of my life. Pride seems big. It seems to fuel my belief that I can be in control, that I can make myself secure without anyone's aid. But this isn't true, it's a lie. Nothing can secure me in this world. Job endured hell and all he relied on was his innocence. We are to completely trust in God, even as we die from horrors.

God, Listen Up

Let's be honest shall we? You and I are acquaintances aren't we? The type of friends that speak well of each other but can't speak personally to each other or about each other. I never seem to see you around in my day to day life. If I ever do, it has to be in some dusty book you let some bros make for you. Some call it your love note to us but I don't want a love note from someone I don't know and a love note isn't going to tell me who you are. Get in my life. Help me to do the things that you like so I can break free of these things keeping me down. Put me in a desert because I won't go willingly. I need you to be my only oasis, not just another spring. Why is it that you have the living water that will make me never thirst and yet I must continuously go to you to quench myself. Are you the living water or just another water? Sure your cleaner but you seem to last just as long. Am I just not savoring you enough? Answer me por favor, I'm tired of praying only to hear the echoes of silence.

Irritating Intolerance by Ignorance

I'm not sure if I've ever explicitly mentioned it in this blog but I am Roman Catholic. That means that I am hated slightly less than Atheists, hated as much as Mormons and hated slightly more than any fire and brimstone baptist by most Protestants. This is a problem. It is also quite irritating to hear from some Protestants that I am in fact, not even Christian...

Don't worry, I'm not going to spend time defending Catholicism from such charges on this blog. It would take time and wouldn't change anyone's mind anyway, so what would the point be? Instead, I'd rather share my frustration in being interviewed for an Episcopal camp and receiving this question: "So James, you seem to want to pursue God through reason and even hold discussions with Atheists and fellow Christians to pursue truth. But it says here you are Roman Catholic, how did you ever become so driven for Jesus and scripture if you grew up Catholic?"

There's no reason to mention all the expletives that may or may not have ran through my head that this man would seriously ask this question in earnest. Well to be fair, there weren't any really, just supreme surprise that he would seriously ask that. Why do we do this to each other? How is it that we can all make assumptions about each others faiths based on denomination? Ugh, I'm so tired of fighting this Protestant arrogance to Christ. I've been questioned so many times from so many of them why don't I become Protestant. The attitude that "You are pursuing Christ but James, you will NEVER find Him in the Catholic Church. We have the answers though. We can give you the relationship with Jesus you've been searching your whole life for." Please, don't give me such a promise only to try to fulfill it by joining your church. The belief that Protestants have the only access to salvation because they have the only true connection with Jesus is ridiculous. The higher churches are bastardizations of the Roman Catholic Church and the lower churches are bastardizations of those and each other. And as I type type this I even think: "How is what you're saying different from what they are saying?" And you know what, it isn't. I won't delete it though, so the reader can see my own error but at least I'm here owning up to it. Ugh, I hate such religious arrogance. I really do. Sorry if this blog was a pure vent session but at least I'm addressing an issue all Christians are in on.

Congrats to my atheist friend

Last night I was procrastinating which took the form of me on facebook chatting. I don't usually do this because it takes up a lot of time and I usually end up talking to people who I probably will never actually see again. But time had to die so I ended up chatting with the president of the SSA and she came out of the theist closet this weekend in regards to her parents. I suppose until then they thought she was just a slack christian.

It could have gone better for the poor gal. Her mom starting crying followed by arguing with her daughter about how God must exist because the flowers and cats of the world are so lovely (I suppose the idea that evolution can't create beauty...). But that was tame compared to her dad asking her how could she be atheist and then yelling about how atheists had no morals and just did whatever they wanted. Afterwords, they calmed down and watched Fox news. I'm not joking, she told me they watch it religiously, that's just the type of family she comes from, ultra christian and ultra conservative. I listened (I suppose I actually "read") her story and then commented back that though it was tough on her, I was proud of her.

That's probably the first time I ever said I was proud of someone. Usually I keep my pride for myself. But that was an immense fear she met and dealt with, I feel like she deserved any and all recognition. It wasn't odd to me that I praised her on her admission to being an atheist though. While I may prefer her to be christian (not much preference though to be honest), overall I really prefer her to be what she says she is. Truth is what she upheld though it was hard for her. That's admirable since I get the feeling sometimes that there are a lot of christians who just go through the motions and don't believe a word of it. So why do they do it? Fear.

Being atheist means being ostracized by the theist world in most cases. Or being befriended only to be challenged. Some just don't want to deal with it (especially from their loved ones) so they just say they're theists. That's not honest though, that's dodging the repercussions of your beliefs. True she started an atheist organization and became president of it before she even admitted it to her parents, but at least she did do it. I also think it's healthy for her to see that not all christians see such a thing as bad but rather as freeing and good.

We are all trying to figure out what's true in the world and if any religion has any weight but none of us truly know. That's why faith and belief are emphasized so much. So that makes it so important to certainly question, but above all respect, the beliefs of others. Because we are all really guessing here.

Is not caring the trick?

I have a lot of atheist friends. I enjoy spending time with them. At times, they are much more enjoyable to spend time with than my christian friends. I don't really care that they are atheists, though I do mind their character flaws that I believe may have some sort of cause and effect relationship with their atheism. But for some reason, I really don't care if they get "saved" or not. Maybe that's the sign of a bad friend but I'd prefer to just not bother with it. Don't get me wrong though, we talk about religion a lot. Usually it's more tongue in cheek on their end but still there are some serious conversations. Also, I like going to the SSA. There are some issues I have with some of them that again I believe probably stems from a lack of faith in a god (for one thing the pride can be ridiculous in some of them), but for the most part I enjoy listening to their critiques of my religion and arguing different points about a god that may or may not exist.

It must be dull for the reader at this point in time...the author doesn't seem to have much of a point does he? Well I'm getting to it and here it is: a lot of my christian friends don't have any atheist friends, at least not close friends. While a lot of my closer friends that I've had for years are either atheist or not really theist. Why? On my christian friends' side, I don't think they actually want atheist friends. They might say they do and even get atheist friends but they won't let them get close to them (too many pronouns James...). Or maybe the atheists would be pushed away by the concerned friend's attempt to save their soul. That's a common complaint I hear at the SSA, that their christian friends can't be real with them because the friends are too busy trying to save them and don't really want to be friends but instead want to play missionary. This is bad and I totally agree with the atheists. The christians may have good intentions but they aren't respecting the atheist's religious (of lack there of) beliefs.

I suppose that's where I differ. Not necessarily that I respect their beliefs (though I usually do) but more of there's nothing arguing is going to accomplish. Also, I'd rather live a life that showed them Christ as opposed to arguing if the guy exists or not. Especially since a lot of atheists have been christians at one point in time, so you're not going to blow their minds about Jesus saving them. But a lot of them were repelled by the hypocrisy they saw in the church and all the "good christians" doing bad things. Instead of preaching to them, I'd prefer to hangout with them. If they decide to come to me about it, that's cool. If not, whatever (again, I may not be the best friend with this mentality but at least I can be one).

Broken Bell

Many gather round the church following the sounds of bells. Such sonorous songs come from them that even the wicked will walk forth to go to their temple. But one such bell is now cracked. He dares not tell the others and yet they know from his corrupted message that soon he will break. Solace can’t be given to one such as a broken bell. Once perfect and without error, now with a mere hairline fracture. But all know the hairline grows and with every time he talks, the crack grows and his message wanes. No one can save him in his condition. The healers of his age dare not risk going to such a high place only to be cast down by the twisted message this bell now tolls. And so he is left to his ailment, and all the other bells listen in pity.

Who’s that? A lost sheep sheepishly walks into the church drawn by the bell. He has been there only once before but swore never to come again. Somehow the bell’s toll brought him but why? The bells he had always heard called the rich or holy. They gave a message of no tolerance for mistakes, no questions that are taken seriously, and no doubt that was substantial would be accepted at that church. The bells seemed elitist to those they did not call. So high in their towers, seeming to not even be touched by original sin, they sent out their immaculate message to all of those arrogant enough to believe the message was for them. The message was clear and need not be rung out of them twice, “If you follow your Lord and are without blemish, you are welcome here.” The poor were not welcome and the humble were despised. This place was for the hypocrites and self-righteous. That is what the bells had always told and so the poor in spirit remained so, the people who mourned went uncomforted, the meek remained downcast, the ones searching for righteousness never found it, the merciful were shown only contempt, the clean of heart were despised, the peacemakers were butchered by war, and everyone was persecuted for the sake of self righteousness. All these troubles sprang from the church who failed in its part.

So why did this new man come in? With his callused hands and worn clothes, with his broken heart he soon made new foes. All those in the church welcomed him but dropped the façade once they saw he was neither rich nor righteous. And so they asked the man, “Why are you here? What brought you to us that your sin may infect us? Was it the devil? You will not succeed here demon, we have learned the true message of the Lord. One should not be charitable just as our Lord was when Mary poured the perfume over His feet. He explained to us that we will always have the poor and so should instead enjoy our riches as opposed to wasting them on the poor. So if you were hoping for alms you are mistaken, we won’t help you for we are good Christians.” The poor man, barely lifting his eyes up to meet theirs agreed, “Aye, it is well known throughout the land that you Christians are not charitable and even as I speak the word you cringe. Trust me, I never planned to come here again after the hostility you showed my dying sister. She dreamed that your lord could accept her into his arms as she departed this world for the next one. Though we warned her of your ways she was certain this Christ figure was true but then you corrected her. You had her imprisoned and beaten for trying to ‘guilt’ you into sharing your faith on charges of ‘trespassing’ and there she died, in prison. I never planned on seeing any of you bastards again but still I came because I had hoped your message had changed. One of your bells is broken. It rings of love, and mercy, and hope to those courageous enough to believe. But that’s not all, as it has degraded further, it now speaks of a church were doubts are welcome and questions answered. It speaks true to that which all of us have been secretly needing in our lives. What was once clamorous exclamation of your perfection has now become a mellifluous invitation to those who are broken and are seeking fulfillment. Admittingly, against my better judgment I came here hoping the message was true. I see it was not though, thank you.” And so the man left the church, and it was credited to him as righteous.

After this uncomfortable display of hope, the parishioners spoke amongst themselves. First they had to address how arrogant that man was for hoping for a better afterlife when they, the best and purest, were uncertain themselves. Then their priest soothed any doubts they had talking of God’s chosen ones and how they were obviously those spoken of, the world had given its bounty to these saved men and women as proof. Not to mention that their savior, their king, suffered the life of poverty and the sinful influence of despicable affiliations for their sake. He did this so they wouldn’t have to. All they were required to do is accept Jesus as their savior and accept His life as sinless despite his low friends and lower social status. After this though, the priest spoke of the “possessed” bell and how it must be disposed of. Clearly the broken bell was the work of the devil and thus they must cast it off from their infallible church. And so they did, they cast it off from its high tower and it broke to pieces as it fell upon the rocks below. As it broke, the bell let out its worse chord yet and the priest had to cleanse those present but so loud was it that all in the land heard the fateful bells chord. The blasphemy was “God is selfless love”

After all the pieces were collected and thrown into the trash pile, the poor man came back drawn by the bell’s last message. He saw the remains of it and resolved to never let it be silenced. And so he took all the pieces and crudely put it back together again. This bell was to call those to the church he now built as it proceeded to do for years and years to come. And so it seems that in the bell’s brokenness, the message was finally made whole.