Righteous Anger

I want to feel it so bad. I need to run or something because for some reason I'm hoping someone will give me a good reason to be furious. Something to trigger me, to allow me to be completely venomous and have it justified. I'm so tired of giving others the other cheek. I want revenge for something that isn't mine to avenge. I need to be passionate for that which is allowable. I feel like I'm caged in this world.

I'm a savage, no reason to deny it. I have these desires that won't leave me. I want to fight, I want to hurt, I want to feel pain, I want to take, to die, to fuck, to cut through everyone's shit. I'm so fucking tired of this life and it's bullshit rules. Of being nice and being patted on the shoulder only to be pissed on the next moment. I know wielding my words as weapons can hurt others, but what if it frees me from this? I'm tired of the rules that come with civility. Fuck civilization. I want to fight and be killed in battle. I want to feel the animal God put in me run free and passionately. I need to so bad but when I look around, I see a bunch of caged animals whose eyes have lost the lust for life I barely possess. I need something. Like a lion needs a juicy prey to kill, a hunk of meat to just sink the teeth into. God I need that. Whatever that looks like. But instead all I see in my life is tv dinners, dreams replaced with kids, and the reverence for mediocrity. These animals forget they came from a line of beasts who used wits to survive and thrive among the most vicious in the land. We can be so much more but now here we are discussing how to best support the poor children in Africa, how to shelter the homeless, how to support the widows. Since when did we treat others as our pets to be taken care of? Is it love to treat others as our investments or pets? No. I think it's love to let others deal with their own problems instead of treating them like stupid children.

Is this behind my anger? I don't know. All I know is that I need these fists to meet something but at the same time I don't particularly want to hurt anyone, I just need to fight for something. This life is unacceptable. I am unacceptable.